Now Leia has a jetpack, too

It's appropriate, now that Star Wars Episode 3: Revenge of the Siths has opened and started breaking box office records, to convey how our house has descended into Star Wars madness.

It all started a few weeks ago when my brother and sister-in-law visited and brought Luke Skywalker superhero action figures for N and his cousin S. These aren't the little action figures--they're a little bigger, about 9 inches tall, and Luke has exaggerated feet and hands. He's got gear, too: a light saber (which N took over to S's house and promptly lost), and a jet pack.



Now I'm not a Star Wars fanatic, but I have seen the movies, and there's no jet pack that's connected to nobody except Boba Fett. True enough. But N will have none of that, because all superheroes have jet packs and light sabers and how else could they save outer space from bad people who fight?

After N got his Luke, the young Skywalker has been everywhere with us, jet pack and all. In the bed, in the bath, to the Little Gym, all over the Seattle galaxy. Then N saw a Wired magazine featuring Lucas and Darth Vader, and we were off. Who's this Robot? Who's that furry guy? Is Chewbacca related to our friend Joe Baca? What's an R2D2? Soon, great potty feats were being rewarded with R2D2 action figures, and C-3PO, Chewy himself (no relation to our family friends, though now N is wondering how Ewoks and Wookies can't be related.)

Finally, the real discovery: N found his mom's original Star Wars trilogy collection on VHS.

Sorry, N, it's too scary, and you're only 3. I told him that I was scared of Star Wars in 1977 when I was 5 (though that was in a big theater with Dolby Sound and, truth is, it was scary no matter what my sister tells you). That weekend, Empire Strikes Back was on TV, and even though that's the "dark" one, N loved it.

We relented. After telling the (edited) saga night after night for bedtime stories, N got us to show him 6, the Return of the Jedi (otherwise known as the "Ewok Movie"). He digs it. He's wonderfully confused. How did Luke's father turn bad? Is N's father going to turn bad? No, N won't let him. Jedi's aren't superheroes, but Ewoks are, though they use pokers and not blasters.

Most importantly, N was so relieved for Leia when he found out that she is Luke's twin sister. "Now she gets a jetpack too!" (The jetpack, btw, is from PlaySkool-Hasbro--same people who brought us Mr. Potato Head reincarnate, a.k.a. Darth Tater).

Since then, N has seen Phantom Menace, and was bored silly. He prefers the goofy Ewok language to Jar Jar. He wasn't even impressed with the pod races. We're going to keep him away from Episode 3, though. Too many nightmares in all of this, though N would never admit it because he doesn't want the bedtime stores to stop. Too bad for him that in those stores, Darth Vader evil ways are restrained to more naïve misbehavin', such as making people have food fights at the ice cream store, or making the animals switch voices at the Zoo. That Darth… Luke and the superhero Ewoks are going to get you!